When's the last time you saw someone reading a paper map?
People used to plan cross-country trips with a stack of of these impossible to re-fold guides but I wonder now how many people under the age of 35 could or would do it now.
I have to admit that I'm one of those people who loves maps, but to use one to take a vacation is not on my list of things to do.
They're tough to follow, you need one for every state in the U.S. unless you have that big book for the entire country, and as soon as road work starts or is completed, they are outdated. And don't get me started on detours and missed exits!
Trying to find your way out of overwhelm is just like reading a map when you're driving down the highway. You've got everything you need right in front of you but when you're going 80 miles per hour, you're not going to grab the magnifying glass and a highlighter to find the next exit!
You have to stop, recenter yourself, and choose which direction you want and need to go, using the information you have and trusting the route, even when there is an unexpected detour.
Use What You Know and How You Feel to Guide You
Overwhelm comes from a buildup of stress and anxiety.
Sometimes that stress and anxiety come from hormone shifts, unexpected events, or from not taking care of yourself. But it can also come from what you think about yourself, the people around you, and life circumstances. Let me explain.
If your To-Do list is running your life so you never have time to relax and enjoy your job, your family or your friends because you're juggling way too many tasks or responsiblities,
If you're saying no to new experiences that could be fun or open new doors because you're afraid you'll look stupid or mess up,
If you're the first person people come to when they need a favor because they know they can count on you to say YES to that 5:30 meeting after work, or you're always the host because you're generous to a fault,
You're probably feeling overwhelmed.
As a woman, you probably wear a lot of hats, and have learned to be generous, caring, and responsible from childhood. Certainly there isn't anything wrong with being any of those things but when you're making everyone else happy and comfortable but yourself, something has to give.
Self-Care and Self-Love Help Women Overcome Obstacles
Self-care has become such a buzzword, right along with self-love, but both are necessary and often misunderstood. My high achieving, abitious clients have been known to groan when I bring up these topics. I can feel them energeticly pull away if I ask them what they love about themselves, and why wouldn't they?
You may have learned not to brag or think too highly of yourself, so you'd have friends and people would think you're kind. You might believe you have to give your time, talent, or money without asking for anything in return, to be a good person. And for the love of God, please do it with a smile and look perfect while you're at it.
No mistakes, don't be too loud, and please bring a appetizers.
Its no wonder that women are 50% higher in women than in men!
You're busy trying to be everything for everyone else and to do it perfectly,
but what about you?
How are you taking care of yourself?
It's not optional. If you want to feel relaxed, free, creative, energetic, present, and successful, you have to choose to think and behave differently.
This is what self-care and self- love are all about.
It's prioritizing your mental and physical health over your to-do list so you're not exhausted and catching every sniffle and bug that rips through town. You rest, eat well, and move your body because you know you deserve to feel good.
It's about appreciating who you are and what you bring to the table without hiding or talking down to yourself. Because no matter what Bob from accounting thinks of you, you know your value and that you're doing amazing work.
It means you make decisions with clear head and with calm body. You're not overthinking and people-pleasing, but doing what is in line with your values without shame or guilt. So the next time Mrs. Smith from the church women's group asks you to host the monthly meeting, you say no because you're busy that week and you know one more event will stress you out!
You start having fun trying new things on purpose because it's FUN! You're learning how to do new things, strech and trust yourself. (And, IMO, fun is the antidote to anxiety!)
But maybe most importantly, you notice when you start to feel stressed out, anxious, or overwhelmed, and you create space and time to breathe,
to listen to your body instead of your thoughts,
and grow that love and confidence in yourself on purpose.
Step One: Decide to change. Easier said than done, right?
If you knew how to stop doing so much and start using all of the information you've gathered from IG influencers, books, your therapist, and your mom, you'd be feeling amazing and probably not reading this right now.
Wouldn’t it be faster and easier to learn how to stop feeling overwhelmed and love yourself if you had a guide?
I thought so.
Yes, it's because you're swamped at work and home and you're out of time, patience, and energy but there's more too it. This means you have to find the sneaky, hidden thoughts that keep you adding more to your already packed to-do list and calendar.
It's those thoughts that keep you stuck so knowing yourself better and choosing to love and trust yourself means you guard your time and your peace of mind. It also means you're feeling confident and successful without overworking, burnout, and doing all the things for everyone but yourself.
I promise you that you can be more successful, more present, and love your self and your career more by slowing down and doing less -
But you have to know where to start and decide to make changes to make it happen. Take the quiz. Decide which step you want to take. Commit to loving yourself and taking care of yourself.
P.P.S. This week’s journal prompt: Make a list of everything you’re doing now that HELPS you feel better when you’re anxious or stressed and everything you’re doing that makes you feel worse. Bring the list to your consultation call and you’re one more step ahead of the game!
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